Nory Fussell, Founder of Project Rhythm & Rhyme, Guides the Aging with a Song and a Story
My father, after decades of living in Florida, crossed the country at 94 to enjoy his last years among the foothills beauty of Nevada County. Six months after his arrival, he approached me with the question, “Can you help me die?”
It was a life-changing experience for us both. Dad was remarkably lucid and present, blessed with a sharp memory and a love of Scrabble. But other bodily systems were failing, and he’d had enough of the embarrassments and scares. “I’m tired, ready for heaven. I want to go and be with Memy,” he’d tell me. Memy (my Mom) passed on five years earlier.
Two articles describing “voluntarily stopping eating and drinking” (VSED) sat on my desk. I read them to Dad. His response was one of sheer exuberance. “That’s it. Can we do this? I can! Can you?” He’d found his exit strategy; one he could control. One with dignity. With hospice care and plenty of attention, my father embarked on his mythical and mystical 17-day journey.
Years later, as I wrote about the experience, I realized that I also needed to include stories of our family’s bi-cultural life in the Panama Canal Zone, the adventures of an idyllic childhood in the tropics, and incidents from an often-contentious son-father relationship. All of this writing was woven into my 2022 memoir, “Life’s Rebellion, a Beautiful Death.”
My growing interest in end-of-life concerns led to a two-year stint as a hospice volunteer offering music, massage, and respite care. Soon thereafter I began to visit assisted living facilities playing what I called “Music from the ‘20’s to the ‘20’s.” Along with the songs, I told stories of the lyricists, musicians, and the mood of the times in which these classics were written, songs that live on as part of our cultural DNA.
I am consistently moved by the way in which a room full of elders responds. Toes tap. Hands clap. Spines straighten as they sing. These gigs, my father’s “beautiful death,” and the sensitivities I’ve gained through my 36 years as a professional Massage Therapist – including the 50 years I’ve been performing music publicly – have all led to the creation of Project Rhythm & Rhyme (PR&R).
Using poetry, images, improvisational activities, drawing, and humor, PR&R can guide seniors into their own creativity. I’ll choose a theme, and for that session we’ll sing, read, and talk about those themes – be they rivers, trains, dances, or pets. “You can’t live all these years without having at least one good story to share,” I say. “If you don’t tell it, who will?”
For some sessions I’ll present two photographs and ask the group to imaginatively create a storyline that links them. I’ll write the words on a white board as we collectively build our new story. “The opposite of old isn’t always young,” I tell them, “The opposite of old can be new. You can still create something new.” And so, we play.
I bring PR&R to the senior centers of Nevada County twice monthly. This is a mutual, reciprocal, and joyful offering to the community. Donations or funding from organizations or individuals are always welcome. A little bit goes a long way.
Author: Nory Fussel
